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Unfortunately there are some things that children should be learning in
school, but don't. Not all of them have to do with academics. As a modest
back-to-school offering, here are some basic rules that may not have
found their way into the standard curriculum.
Rule #1.
Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teenager
uses the phrase "it's not fair" 8.6 times a day. You
got it from your parents, who said
it so often you decided they must be the most idealistic generation ever.
When they started hearing it from their own
kids, They realized Rule #1.
Rule #2.
The real world won't care as much about your
self-esteem as your school does. It'll expect you to
accomplish something before you feel good about
yourself. This may come as a shock. Usually, when inflated self-esteem
meets reality, kids complain that it's not fair. (See Rule No. 1)
Rule #3.
Sorry, you won't make $40,000 a year right out of high
school. And you won't be a vice president or have a
car with On-star. You may even have
to wear a uniform that doesn't have a
Aeropostel label.
Rule #4.
If you think your teacher is tough, wait 'till you get
a boss. He doesn't have tenure, so
she/he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he
or she isn't going ask you how feel about it.
Rule #5.
Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your
grandparents
had a different word for
burger flipping. They called it opportunity. They
weren't embarrassed making minimum wage either. They
would have been embarrassed to sit around talking
about Kurt Cobain all weekend.
Rule #6.
It's not your parents' fault. If you screw up, you are
responsible. This is the flip side of "It's my
life," and "You're not the boss of me," and other
eloquent proclamations of your generation. When you turn 18, it's on
your dime. Don't whine about it.
Rule #7.
Before you were born your parents weren't as boring as
they are
now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning up your room and listening
to you tell them how idealistic you are. And by the way, before you save the
rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your
parents' generation, try
delousing the closet in your bedroom.
Rule #8.
Life is not divided into semesters, and you don't get
summers off.
Nor even Easter break. They expect you to show up every day. For eight hours.
And you don't get a new life every 18 weeks. It just
goes on and on.
Rule #9.
Television is not real life. Your life is not a sitcom.
Your problems will not all be solved in 30 minutes,
minus time for commercials. In real life, people
actually have to leave the coffee shop to go to jobs. Your
friends will not be perky or as polite as Jennifer Aniston.
Rule #10.
Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We
all could.
Rule #11.
Enjoy this while you can. Sure, parents are a pain,
school's a bother, and life is depressing. But someday
you'll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid. Maybe
you should start now.
You're welcome.