Introduction With Feedback=Josh Jones

Here Is A Copy of An Introduction On Of The Teams In Communication 417 Submitted For My Feedback

Than Read The Introduction With My Comments Woven Into The Fabric of the Introduction.

What does it take to be a true leader? At first you may respond the same way I responded, with such common answers as competence, charisma, and confidence. Seems to make a lot of sense, right? However, the Dr. Kasch required my group to read the book Innovation Explosion by James Brian Quinn for my senior communications class. It was then that I learned that there is a great deal more to being a true leader than just being cute, clever, and convincing. You see, true leaders are what Quinn calls "innovation managers".

You might be in my class. You might sit next to me. I might be looking at your cute butt right now. However, none of that is relevant at this moment. See, despite the fact that you may be in my class, that does not mean you read chapter five-Motivating Towards Creative Markets. In fact, unless you are in COM 417, are James Brian Quinn, or are a masochist like Chris Kasch, you probably haven’t even glanced at the book. Why? Because it is boring. Very boring. So now it becomes our job to teach you. Teach you about what it means to be an innovation manager, the crème’ de la crème’ of business leaders.

Now you’re probably thinking, "Hey, I am just a lowly COM major. I will never be in charge of anything. That’s what all those BMA majors are for." Well, you are wrong. COM majors are the best. Therefore, you have to know this stuff to put down all those folks over in the Foster College of Business. Imagine their surprise when you mention such advanced terms as ‘the culch bag technique’ or ‘seeking persistent disequilibrium’. They will either be impressed or think you are French. In either case, you are more likely to score.

The fact is management is tough. School is tough. Life is tough. Luckily, we have James Brian Quinn to teach us the secrets. Innovation Explosion is pretty much the Kama Sutra of management. With that aside, we will advance to our thesis sentence.

In chapter five of Innovation Explosion James Brian Quinn states that to be a true innovation manager you must first understand that innovation must be motivated, that innovative organizations have a great deal in common, strategy can lead to innovation, and that proper management fosters innovation.

Ok first you have to evaluate you introduction in terms of the primary functions of an opening.

Did you establish a relationship with the audience? What do you personally think and feel?

Did you build a context for this presentation? Place this presentation in a somewhat broader context to create a "meaning hook" for the audience? Did the audience have a sense of what the central ideas in this presentation were going to be?

Did you include a thesis sentence which pointed direction to your main point?

Ok, you start the rhetorical question is useful for transition to the he topic....but probably need something more attention getting.........perhaps thewell known quotation......e.g "Some people see things as they are and ask why....others dare to dream things that never were, and ask why not.....RFK 1968.....maybe look for the emotional quotation.....the video clip can work as a starter...but than you have to have some pretty good words to follow....hard to compete with video...without doing some serious word crafting.....

You might use the future as a hook.........the printing press...the television.....the great catalysts of change ......each have let to a period of dramatic change....each have fostered revolutionary change.....once again we have a communication technology whish is beginning to transform our culture.......as the printing press and the television, the computer will create innovation the likes of which we may only see once in our lives........it will bring change...it will bring disorder.....it will bring chaos....it it times such as these......when we look to that special person....the person how can lead with purpose, purity of vision

Notice that when writing an presentation you have to work to develop an oral style......so you have to learn to write like you wan talk talk....just the oppoiste of what English teachers once taught.....short phrases.......incomplete thoughts....metaphor....hyperbole...casting words in dramatic terms........overdramatizing for effect.......

Ok after securing audience attention you next task in an introduction to establish relevance, to answer the question why should the audience listen. What is it it for them?

You might be in my class. You might sit next to me. I might be looking at your cute butt right now. However, none of that is relevant at this moment. See, despite the fact that you may be in my class, that does not mean you read chapter five-Motivating Towards Creative Markets. In fact, unless you are in COM 417, are James Brian Quinn, or are a masochist like Chris Kasch, you probably haven t even glanced at the book. Why? Because it is boring. Very boring. So now it becomes our job to teach you. Teach you about what it means to be an innovation manager, the crème de la crème of business leaders.

Boring is a better criteria to evaluate play than to evaluate work........a professor once told me "Chris you should not be arrogant about your ignorance"......whether the author of your textbook writes in a interesting style is irrelevant......as speakers your task is to make the ideas come alive.......it is unfortunate that in a culture inundated with visual imagery.......to many students do not realize that all this takes is your words......and to speak with passion...........

I would establish relevance and create common ground with with this audience, NOT by connecting "hey this book is really boring...you better listen to us so you don't have to read it"...but rather by tapping into their hopes, their dreams, that they might one day manage a team that makes an award winning television commercial. e.g the 1984 Macintosh commercial, that designs the "killer" advertising campaign.......than you create a sense of purpose, a will to listen to you.......

Now you re probably thinking, "Hey, I am just a lowly COM major. I will never be in charge of anything. That s what all those BMA majors are for." Well, you are wrong. COM majors are the best. Therefore, you have to know this stuff to put down all those folks over in the Foster College of Business.

You have to create a sense of vision in your presentation, to create an identity for the audience that is credible, compelling, and powerful.....to give them a will to listen..because what you are going to talk about is vital to their interests and goal...you are going to "give the audience what they like, needs or want."

Imagine their surprise when you mention such advanced terms as the culch bag technique or seeking persistent disequalibrium . They will either be impressed or think you are French. In either case, you are more likely to score.

One think I have noticed in many of the teams this semester.....is that there tends to be a bias towards humor to capture attention...e.g to amuse your audience.....which certainly has its place......but when I want connect personally and emotionally with an audience in the initial parts of a presentation......I am thinking tone....tone....tone.......what emotional tone do I wan to dominant this presentation? Humor which may play well in your "living unit", often does not play well in a public audience. But trying to interject humor here, is inconsistent without he emotional tone you were beginning to develop in youri ntroduction.

After establishing relevance.....you need to try to establish a personal relationship with your audience. Tell us what you personally think and feel about the topic..........your introduction does not accomplish this function.

In addition to trying to emotionalize and personalize, your introduction should furnish a broader context for this presentation in order to furnish a "meaning hook" for the audience. When engaging in context=building, you should try to place this presentation in a broader context, but at the very leaves you have to begin to preview for the audience some of the central ideas in your presentation....your introduction does not accomplish this function.

I imagine the phrase "luckily we have James Brian Quinn will likely... you sarcasm....Ii don't find our textbook an interesting read, and don't understand everything in the book....... making fun of Quinn can be amusing, but it depends again on what tone you want......

There is a Zen saying........to achieve the extraordinary....one must consent to leave sight of the shore for a very long time..........people like Quinn invite us to leave sight of the shore.......

There is no good writing, only good rewriting......you have a foundation build here.....need to emotionalize and personalize a tad more.....need to build some context so audience knows what is to follow...and need to think tone, tone, tone....what is the tone you want to dominate this introduction?